Blog Disatisfaction

So about a two months ago was Armchair BEA, which was super fun. There's a day where you talk about your blog and blogging, which I notably didn't post for. Because I froze up after coming to this slightly disconcerting realisation: I am getting sick of looking at my own blog. I'm just very... not happy with it right now. I don't like looking at it.

The thing is, I can't really tell if it's the BLOG that I'm annoyed with, or BLOGGING that I'm annoyed with. I've been blogging so long- I've only been here for four years, but I've had a blog more or less since I started high school at the age of 13- (maybe that doesn't seem long, but it's over a quarter of my life, so it feels like a long time). I can't tell if I'm still doing this because I like it, or if it's because I don't like change and I'm kind of afraid to stop.

Part of it is that I tend to hit low points where I'm just not really very motivated. I've talked about that, and they're usually followed by periods where I'm pretty intensely creative for a day or two. I've accepted that I'm not necessarily a naturally creative creature, and that my motivation is going to wax and wane unpredictably. But the down periods seem to be happening more and more often, and happening for longer and longer. And that's just been very frustrating.

Another part is that a lot of my life feels like a holding pattern right now, including the blog.

I've just stopped looking forward to book blogging. The issue is mostly that I kind of don't care about my opinions on books anymore. I just... don't want to bother writing them down. I don't care about them enough, and I don't think its reasonable to expect anyone else to. So I'm kind of on hiatus for a while, with the exception of a few reviews.

Cover Change: The Winner's Curse

Here we go again...

So earlier today, the news dropped that The Winner's Curse is getting a cover change. I'm not generally opposed to cover changes as a concept except where they:

1) Happen in the middle of a series, therefore ensuring that my books will NEVER MATCH

2) Take a pretty cover and make it less so.

The change to The Winners Curse did not just one, but both. Let's examine:

Original: The best of the girls in dresses covers I've seen. There was a bit of a change in the typography between the first book and the following ones, but the theme is clearly consistent. (Curse is my favourite typography-wise.)

These are covers that make Kestrel looks strong, without making her look like she's planning on going out and physically fighting someone, and they make her look calculating. It accentuates that there is both combat (the weaponry) and court/ political drama (the dresses, Kestrel's overall appearance).

New: The original is just so much better than what they've done now. The new covers are honestly kind of silly looking? They look like a bunch of stock photos arbitrarily forced together. Why is the sky pink in the first one? They make these books look like something that they just aren't. These are stock YA high fantasy covers that you slap on a high fantasy with an assassin or something as the heroine, and magic figuring in. Which can be totally great, but that isn't The Winner's Curse.

These are not covers for a book like The Winner's Curse. Suddenly they have these stupid by-line things? You can's even really see the "The" on The Winner's Kiss. The worst part? They make Kestrel into someone she isn't, attempting to replace her brand of mental combat with some sort of stock variety "girl who fights things with knives." Also, Winner's Kiss cover? That is not how people look after they've been enslaved in a mine, nor even how they look after fighting their way out, if that's what you're going for.

To me, the new covers seem like a transparent attempt to appeal to a different audience. What I don't understand is why you would try to make this fantastic trilogy look like something it isn't. It seems like its more likely to disappoint readers who are drawn in by the cover, expecting a certain kind of story with a certain kind of lead. I love Kestrel, but she is primarily cerebral, and is less gifted with weapons. Her thing is cleverness and manipulation, not stabbing. This also ins't a world with magic in it, so I'm not sure about the random glow-y bits showing up randomly. So I'm a bit weirded out from a branding standpoint. If anyone in marketing understands why this happened, feel free to let me know in the comments.

Will I still buy and read the books? Yes. I'm not going to punish the author and myself to make a point that the publisher isn't going to get anyway. Am I unimpressed and a little confused? Definitely.

This Assault-y Thing Isn't Romantic

Story time! 

So Kelly, science student and (of late, far too occasional, blame exams) YA book blogger is eating delightful customized pasta in one of her university's fine cafeteria establishments. She thinks to herself gee, I'm glad my third exam is done... I'll read for five minutes before resuming studying for the next. 

This was, as it turns out, a mistake. Because that book was just at the point of "Let's get this totally pointless love triangle-y thing rolling, time for the kiss scene." Now. Kelly had not been loving this book up until now, but was trying to push through. But as she read the kiss scene in question, she realised that she likely wouldn't be able to because it was causing feelings of deep anger. 

--end scene--

Why, you may ask, was Kelly so furious? We know by this point that, while I don't like love triangles, I'm fairly well conditioned to ignore them and continue on if they aren't a big part of the story. That wasn't my primary problem with this scene. My problem was the kiss. My problem was that. It. Read. Like. An. Assault. Scene.

He kisses her after yelling at her. After slamming his hands on a wall beside her head. She pushes him away and tries to run, and he drags her back with his hand over her mouth. Yes, there were some slight extenuating circumstances, but no, I still don't think it was okay to kiss her in the first place, and then afterwards prevent her from leaving.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back, where the camel was my ability to deal with creepiness being passed off as romance. Here's my deal. 

These books are targeted toward teenagers, often young women. The last thing you want to be teaching them is that having any sort of intimacy forced on them against their will is what's done. That is is normal. That it is romantic.

It isn't romantic. It isn't sexy. Its just disturbing.

It isn't just a book. Readers know best of all how books shape us. They shape our perception of the world, of what is and isn't right. When you write something like kissing a girl even though she's pushing away, or saying "no," or, really, in anyway suggesting that she isn't interested in being touched, and pass it off as romantic, you're saying a) that it is romantic to force yourself on someone and b) that it is romantic when someone forces themselves on you. That it is something you should be grateful for. And that is worrying.

It isn't that it happened once. It is that it keeps happening. Destroy this idea that having a person violating your personal space is romantic. That having someone physically prevent you from leaving, or calling out, is romantic.

I've come up with a few simple questions to ask yourself:

1. Am I, in fact, planning on writing an assault scene?
 If you answered yes to this question, this list isn't for you Go find some resources on writing assault scenes. If you answered "Of course not, I'm writing a romantic and/or sexy scene," proceed to question two.
2. Is one character in a position of power (physically or otherwise) over the other?
I you answered yes, you have to be really, really careful in how you write it. If either character can't, for any reason, give consent, you have a problem. If you answered no, head on to question 3.
3. Do both of my characters want to be intimate with each other?
If you answered no, consider again why you're writing this scene. If you answered yes, proceed to question 4.
4. Take your written scene out of context. Does it still sound as romantic as you think it sounds in context? Why? Explain. (2 marks.)

These obviously aren't catch-all, but what I'm saying is think long and hard about your scene. If it seems like an assault scene that should be because it is designed to be one, not because it is supposed to seem romantic.

Now, go forth and write good kissing scenes!

Thoughts On: Reading for School

I assume everyone had to read in English class in high school (or whatever the equivalent in your country is). I also assume that, unless you had an unusually progressive teacher and curriculum, this was probably less fun than reading on you own time because you wanted to.

This is going to be a long ramble about my high school reading for my English classes. We were supposed to read one Shakespeare play every year, which wasn't too bad. It stretch you thinking (I was in an experimental program for tenth grade English, and I didn't have to do it that year). I do wish that we might have actually seen one play at some point, the way that it was meant to be seen. I don't really have a problem with reading Shakespeare. The problem for me was the novels, or specifically, one novel.

In grade eleven we read the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. To summarize how I felt, and still feel, about that book, I can use three simple words: I. HATED. IT. I was miserable reading it and found it pretty traumatic, but not in any impactful way (more on that later). I don't think that it is a spoiler to say that this book discusses rape very near its start and is meant to be a redemption story- the narrator saw it happen and didn't do anything. I thinking there are a couple reasons why I really didn't enjoy this book:

1. The narrator didn't interest me. The only reason that I really kept reading was because I had to finished my assigned pages for class. I know that I skimmed a lot toward the end, just so I could pretend that I read it.
2. The subject matter disturbed me. If you look at my reviews, you'll see that I don't read books about rape. I just can't. I don't have that sort of emotional maturity, I suppose. They actually had to send a waiver home saying that, if this book caused the child to be scarred, it wasn't the school's fault. Should you really be making a bunch of sixteen year-olds read it then? I'm not saying ban it, I'm thoroughly against that, but maybe don't make it required material. There was an alternate option, but I was told that I wouldn't be able to participate in class at all, and that I would still have to be present for the discussions. I refused to take the book into my room. I might have overreacted, but, like I said the content was disturbing for me.
3. I found the book relentlessly depressing. It is supposed to be a redemption story, but I didn't really feel that much redemption happened. It didn't leave a positive impact in me, and, while the ending felt like there was intended to be some sort of hope, I didn't feel it. It was in a couple scenes horrifying, and otherwise simply unenjoyable to read, to the point where I stopped being emotionally impacted by anything that happened.

You'll notice these are personal reasons for me. Reason's I didn't like the book, personally, but I also feel that there is a wider issue here: English teachers seem to think that teenagers should not read books written for their age group. I don't know why this is, but they just don't. I feel like the young adult genre gets a bad reputation for being poorly written and having no message, which, anyone who reads a lot could tell you, is not true.

These are books that are written for teenagers, with a mind to their world and emotional climate (does that make sense). They are written to be read by young adults (though they can totally be enjoyed by adults too). There are a lot of young adult books that could be inserted into a class medium and used to teach. There are plenty of young adult books that discuss a plethora of issues in a way that might, at the very least, be slightly funner than eating worms, and even possibly- gasp- enjoyable for students. I shall even make a list of books that can be used easily in teaching (with the high school curriculum of my area in mind).

Grades Nine and Ten: Exploring Heroes and the Heroic Journey

Look! Young adult adventure stories! Heroic protagonists of various types going on quests and overcoming prejudice (and usually both)! Take notes, this will be on the test.

Grade Eleven and Twelve: Tragic Heroes and Antiheroes (and I've thrown moral ambiguity in too)

These two. I think All Our Yesterdays actually provides a good example of the tragic hero (James- if you look for it, you will see it) as well as consequences. The 100 is something that I think would be good for discussing all sorts of ethics, morals, consequences and what makes a hero (or antihero, or villain).  Basically, I think that they could prompt discussion about real world topics and issues.

Those are some that I have been thinking about recently. There are a lot of books that could be used the the "heroism" area. I'm sure there are others for the "tragic hero" area, but All Our Yesterdays has been floating around in the back of my head for a while (it seriously does not need a sequel by the way). Those are just some ideas, and I'm sure there are books that would fit better. Not really the point.

The point is that schools should stop avoiding letting young adults read books written for a young adult audience. They do have meaning, they do have messages and many can stand up to analysis. The way English it taught now, it is just going to scare students off of reading, since it is often depressing material. So stop viewing it as some inferior form of literature, and look at possibly making use of the material instead.

Wow, that got long. If you're still here, thanks for reading my ramblings. What did you read/are you reading in high school. What do you think of the books that I have brainstormed here? Do you have any ideas? Let me know what you think in the comments.